“Strangers, A Memoir of Marriage” by Belle Burden

“Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage” is Belle Burden’s snapshot of a relationship ~ with herself.

The book begins as an account of a family intent on leaving the perils of New York City behind in the early days of Covid-quarantine. It frames a picture of domesticity; complete with kids, a dog, and a handsome husband fitting happily together inside the family’s beloved Martha’s Vineyard retreat. Filled with breezy memories, comfort-foods and shabby-chic traditions the safe-house was free from worries.

Pepperidge Farm Raspberry Turnovers; A favorite Burden family comfort food

At first ‘Strangers’ is a look-back at the pandemic and the unexpected isolation we shared collectively. But then; there’s a phone call ~ about a lover.

The memoir becomes a highly personal story of agony and unexpected realities of isolation.

After the betrayal the once idyllic picture becomes jagged. The memoir turns into an emotionally disturbing puzzle. The safe-house was an illusion.

Because the author is talented and shares common insecurities with the reader the book’s 237 pages turn easily. Belle’s life-story becomes psychologically compelling. The how’s and why’s of what happened to the marriage are never answered. Instead, there are long shadows of cruelty and power-plays

Ridiculed for being a hausfrau, criticized for not moving along after she ‘lost her man to another woman’ and ostracized by the ‘happily-marrieds’, as though divorce was contagious, Belle suffered the agonies of psycho-social isolations, blame-games never imposed on cheating men. She explains the worries of single-parenting, the loneliness of making each decision alone and considered the legacy impact of generational infidelities.

Then, Belle decided to see herself in a new light.

The NYU law-school grad rethought the contract of marriage. She used her better judgment and ex-‘s misogynistic manipulations as a lens to solve the puzzle. Because of her clarity, “Strangers” is painful, relatable and empowering.

Stronger because of the imposed isolations Belle sees her once beloved as a cliched image of men who fly into mid-life melt-downs feeling entitled to leave relationships.

This book looks back at a marriage that ended.  It also looks forward with bright snapshots of a beautiful, more confident woman in her family’s Martha’s Vineyard retreat filled with kids, a dog, breezy memories, comfort-foods and shabby-chic traditions of her own design.